damn, a lot has changed in two (almost 3) years. i mean i didn't anything productive. just had been studying like a completely bitch. now i'm senior. preparing for the finals. am i mentally prepared? no. am i scared? sure thing. i really don't know what i should do with my life after school. i mean where should i go. i haven't decided yet. what if i'll choose the wrong facult? i don't wanna end up by suffering on some job which i don't like. but the problem is i don't know what i want to do withmy life. i just want to live. live my freaking life without responsibilities. i'm not ready to make a choise. just not in this year.
i mean, that's really awful, but there's even something worse. i'm in love. lol i know i know, sounds ridiculous, but... he lives in Australia. FAR FAAAAR away from my country. it's not even my continent. you may ask me why can't i pick someone who lives near? of i'd like to but heart wants what it wants. i'm infinitely love our eight-hours Skype calls, silly facebook chats, the way we look at each other. he is my whole universe as well as i for him. so i'd like to study in Australia but my parents just doesn't have enough money for education. i can wait 5 years, ye, but i'm not sure about him. he is 21 so it's time to find someone right? i mean he'll definetely find someone there and like "oh soz i just coudn't wait for you any longer". that's my biggest fear. i'll definetely visit his country next year and constantly will do it until i'll finish my uni. it's a big adventure for both of us. i really hope everything will be alright.
your deeds are your monuments. this percept means that we should be remembered for the things we do. The things we do are the most important things of all. They are more important than what we say or what we look like. The things we do are like monuments that people build to honor heroes after they've died. They're like the pyramids that the Egyptians built to honor the pharaons. Only instead of the doing made out of stone, they're made out of the memories people have of you. That's why your deeds are like your monuments. Built with memories instead of with stone/ R.J. Palacio, "Wonder"